Know your anger – it’s a good thing. To know it, kiss it on the mouth even. If you don’t learn to become intimate with your anger you will ascribe it not to you but to the world outside. That is setting up a lifetime of hell. To live in a world as furious, stagnant, and unyielding as you are.
– Josh Jonas
Knowing what you want is crucial to living a good life, but it’s not enough. There are many people who get everything they want and remain miserable. The key is learning what you want in order to feel fulfilled. And that is how you can make your life your own work of art. Because figuring that out is much more of an art than a science.
– Josh Jonas
If you attended college in the U.S., then I’ll bet you’ve heard of pregaming. It’s when friends or students might load up on cheap drinks before visiting that expensive bar downtown. Pregaming made us feel smart and feel like we had outsmarted the system. Today as I begin a new journey here as a clinician at the Village Institute, I’m discovering that patients are trying to do the same and pregame therapy. By coming up with answers before we’ve even figured out the true problem, our patients think that they can skate around some of the requirements of therapy, like having honest, tough, and intimate conversations that might be uncomfortable at first.
The act of avoiding discomfort presents itself regularly. One patient had asked me before we had even met for our first session, “How many sessions will it take before I start seeing results?” She had already skipped to the end of our time together before we had even had the chance to meet. The problem in both of these circumstances is that too much time is being spent on the answer, and not enough time was being allotted to the question. Luckily, the need for immediate gratification is often broken down in therapy- and is usually indicative of other issues and defenses at hand.
More recently, a friend of mine was considering therapy to work through procrastination and avoidance habits. He pre-diagnosed himself with Adult ADHD to ‘get ahead of the game.’ He was pregaming therapy! This was his attempt to have the satisfaction of having a self-hypothesis confirmed, because the ambiguity of walking in and having no idea where a session could take him was overwhelming. It became quickly apparent that the issue here wasn’t a diagnosis of ADHD, but the anxiety behind relinquishing control and being vulnerable to a stranger. The fear was based upon the possibility of not having his avoidance tool at his immediate usage in the therapy room, so if he was able to walk in with some type of all-knowing powers already, he could somehow get around the discomfort. Ironically, the best work in therapy is done within the discomfort.
Whatever the appeal is for you in beginning therapy- allow this to be, but embrace the possibility of therapy being a journey, not a destination. More possibilities always come from the wisdom of knowing what we don’t know.
On the first day of our Women’s Psychotherapy Group at The Village Institute, I had asked the group, “Who here had no idea of what they were walking in to today?” Unanimously, each woman raised their hand nervously and laughed. Already, there was a sense of connectivity in the room. It turns out, most people, even those who take the step and join group, do not really know what group therapy is, or what it can offer!
“Thank you for bringing me into this positive experience- it was one I didn’t even know I was missing.” – Group member
According to the APA (American Psychological Association), group members often are surprised at how rewarding a group experience can be.
In this article I’ll be giving you the inside scoop on what Group Therapy is and will also answer some fundamental group questions, so that you can determine if this is a form of therapy that would work for you.
Sometimes we need reminders that we’re not completely alone in our feelings and experiences. Members are able to support and validate your experiences by perhaps even sharing their own.
How are you relating to others? In group, members have the opportunity to engage with other members, and often how they are relating to others is indicative of how they are relating to people out there in the world. More often than not, having a group experience may even provide information on how you are relating to yourself.
The feedback in group is different from the feedback you’ll get in individual therapy. Often in group you’ll find that members are genuinely there to listen, share, explore barriers with each other, process their thoughts or fears, and support one another. How often do you have the opportunity to be that vulnerable and open with a group of unbiased people?
Typically individual therapy can differ in terms of sliding scales, insurance practices, and set fees. Navigating the mental health system certainly isn’t easy. Make your search a little bit easier by considering group therapy as a lower fee option. Groups generally meet weekly, as one would for individual sessions. Consistency is key for any change to happen!
After her first group session, I received a message from a group member stating “Thank you for bringing me into this positive experience- it was one I didn’t even know I was missing.” According to the APA, group members often are surprised at how rewarding a group experience can be. Wondering what your experience can be like? Reach out to us and ask us about The Village Institutes upcoming therapy groups this year!
And just so you’re feeling super prepared in your consideration of group therapy I’ve listed some frequently asked questions and answers:
A: While some groups are created for support, Psychotherapy Groups meet to explore internal processes, mental health, and process feelings in a way that is proactive toward change. Typically the group leader is a psychotherapist who has been trained in the realm of mental health and navigating a group experience.
A: Yes! Group rules are implemented for the consistency and growth of the group, such as: regular attendance, confidentiality, no meeting outside of group, etc.
A: This varies in dependence of what group your joining, where, and what you’re looking for. At The Village Institute, we have groups ranging from more intimate interpersonal groups, to larger ones all within 5-12 people.
A: At The Village Institute, one group session lasts an hour and a half. Some groups are indefinite but others have an end date.
A: Like anything else, practice creates growth, understanding and mastery. While giving group an opportunity to be something that could work for you by showing up a few weeks in a row is encouraged, The Village Institute takes on an individualized and genuine approach with their patient population. Ask your group therapist how you can get the most out of your experience, and discuss what might be holding you back from it. You will never be forced to stay in group!
Facing mental health challenges can be overwhelming, especially when you’re not sure where to start. To help you navigate these difficult times, we’ve compiled five essential tips that can make a difference. From acknowledging your struggles to seeking professional support, these steps are designed to guide you toward healing and resilience. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, or simply feeling off, these practical strategies can help you regain control and move forward with confidence.